Mis Pensamientos: Beating Imposter Syndrome
I am a Nuyorican, Puerto Rican, Brooklyn born, mother, wife, youngest child, only daughter, 1st gen college, socially mobile, vegan, entrepreneur, educationally decorated cisgender female… that is a lot and yet there is more! And I hold that daily in all aspects of my life.
As I began my coaching journey over a decade ago, I entered the space for the same reason I entered many spaces in the past… representation matters and there weren't too many “me’s” in my own sphere. So let me take one step in normalizing and not being the exception. I wanted to model and create a space for folks to be unapologetic, to be authentically you. I wanted to affirm and make sure you felt seen, heard, valued and not like you were imagining things. I wanted a space for you to be held at your most beautifully imperfect place, while preserving that you are in fact whole and amazing. I wanted to be a space where you could imagine possibilities void of judgment. A place where you can be held, the soft place to land. I wanted to be a place where we could exchange jokes and you can speak freely, and then we can reflect on the true root of what is happening. I wanted it to be a professional coffee outing - the one where we chat, and get serious and reflect, and giggle, then plan. I wanted to be a space where you felt empowered to step out into your work more ready and secure in your leadership. If I as an individual were so complex and layered, then couldn’t my space for coaching be as well?
And so I began exploring the tenets for coaching, those that are accredited and reading up on models. And as I read these, my friend “Imposter” crept up on me; I started questioning the very space I hoped I had created. Had I been wrong all along? Was I not supporting the dopest people - mostly women of color - I coached all these years? Who invited Fake ole “Imposter” to my space?
And what would I say to the me on the other side of the call or Zoom if I were coaching me?
What is coming up for you right now?
How does this serve you?
What do you believe about your coaching spaces?
Why do these standards matter to you? What are ways that these standards serve you?
What could you add to these standards that don’t already exist?
And finally, what do you want to be true of how you coach others?
While I cannot always stop FOI (Fake Ole Imposter) from showing up, I can deny them entrance into my sphere. I see you, I know you keep coming here, you make your presence known, you ruffle a few feathers, and leave… but respectfully you are not welcome to stay here!
As I/we embrace our many layers and as we try to determine how to move through the world with standards that may be different than how we show up, I invite us all to show up imperfectly as we are, greet Imposter or Mess or whoever it is, and set that boundary so that we can let all of the parts of our beautiful selves shine through.